


How to Sneak Into an R-Rated Movie

by SilentSilhouette



Category: Deadpool (2016), Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Don't Try This At Home, Gen, Humor, International Fanworks Day 2016, No Spoilers, Teikou Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 18:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6020173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSilhouette/pseuds/SilentSilhouette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Generation of Miracles want to watch Deadpool. </p><p>One problem: they're underaged. </p><p>What to do...</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Sneak Into an R-Rated Movie

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Deadpool isn’t set to be released in Japan until June, just work with me here. Also, I’m going to use the American rating system here, as I am unfamiliar with the Japanese system and I don’t know what Deadpool is rated in Japan.  
> Wrote this purely because I don't know if my initial submission even fit the criteria :P This is kinda stupid, now that I think about it...

“Thank you all for gathering here today,” Akashi began, looking at his fellow basketball regular and manager. The seven middle schoolers were sitting in a corporate-style meeting room, complete with swiveling chairs, wall-to-ceiling windows, and a large round mahogany table dominating most of the room. Each and every one of them had serious expressions on their faces, not unlike the ones they use just before a tournament game.

“As you all know,” he continued, “The new movie Deadpool has just been recently released to positive reviews.”

“Hell yes,” Aomine grunted.

“I believe every single person in this room agrees with me when I say that we all want to watch this movie in the theatres?”

“Duh.”

“Dai-chan means yes.”

“So right, Akashicchi!”

“Of course, nanodayo.”

“Yes, Akashi-kun.”

“I’m only going for the snacks.”

“Good.” Akashi nodded. “However, there is a… slight obstacle… that we must overcome if we are to watch this movie in the theatres. Deadpool is rated R, meaning that anyone under seventeen must have parental supervision in order to watch the movie.”

Disgruntled mumbles rose from the six listening teens.

“And I think we can also agree that none of us want to watch Deadpool in the presence of our guardians?”

Sounds of agreement went around the room.

“Watching it with parents would just ruin the whole experience,” Kise said sullenly. “Plus my parents are super protective, so they probably won’t even let me go in the first place.”

“And I don’t think my grandmother would appreciate watching a movie of this nature,” Kuroko murmured.

“And thus our problem,” Akashi concluded. “We must find a way to watch Deadpool without parental supervision.”

Aomine raised his hand. “I have an idea. Can’t we just sneak in?”

“Something that is not illegal.”

“Is sneaking into an R-rated movie illegal?” Kise wondered.

“I don’t know,” Momoi said uncertainly.

“We will not be sneaking into a movie theatre to watch Deadpool,” Akashi said firmly. “Our method must be legal and legitimate.”

“There is no other way,” Midorima said, fixing his glasses. “Unless you want to wait for the DVD release, nanodayo.”

“No!” six voices exclaimed. Murasakibara finished off his pack of chips and reached for another from his hammerspace.

“Can’t Aka-chin just buy the movie theatre and tell them to let us in?”

“Murasakibara!” Midorima chided. “Akashi can’t buy a movie theatre just to watch one movie!”

“On the contrary…” Akashi trailed off. Midorima rounded on him.

“No. Are you seriously considering it, nanodayo?”

“Even if Akashi-kun were to buy the movie theatre,” Kuroko interrupted reluctantly, “I don’t think that will change anything. The employees and movie providers would still need to follow the rules.”

“How about we bribe the people in charge of rating movies?” Kise suggested. “You know, get them to change the rating to PG-13?”

“But what if other kids our age who can’t stomach R-rated stuff watch the movie by accident?” Momoi asked worriedly.

“Good point,” Akashi agreed with Momoi. “We will not drag other people into this.”

“How about we buy the movie?” Aomine proposed. Midorima frowned.

“I thought we all agreed not to wait for the DVD, nanodayo.”

“No, I mean buy the actual movie. Like, the rights to the movie.”

“I think that’s going too far, nanodayo,” Midorima said quickly, before Akashi could actually ponder the idea. “Can we go back to the sneaking-in suggestion?”

“That’s illegitimate,” Akashi insisted.

“What if we buy tickets for a PG movie, then sneak into a Deadpool theatre?” Murasakibara asked boredly.

“Murasakibaracchi, you’re a genius!” Kise exclaimed.

“Illegitimate,” Akashi said stubbornly. “Plus, what if we steal seats from people who actually bought tickets to Deadpool?”

“Akashi-kun,” Kuroko said patiently, “there is simply no way we can watch Deadpool at this point in time without breaking some rules.”

“Let’s go back to the buying-the-movie-rights idea.”

“Let’s not,” Midorima said wearily.

“I will not break the rules just to watch a movie,” Akashi declared.

“And yet you’re willing to buy an entire movie theatre?”

“That’s different,” Akashi said haughtily.

“How about this,” Momoi began. “I’m sure Mukkun can pass off as an adult. To watch an R-rated movie, we only need adult supervision.”

Aomine caught on. “So if we pass Murasakibara off as an adult…” All six middle schoolers turned to Akashi, asking for his approval.

Akashi frowned. “I still don’t like it.”

“Murasakibaracchi will be the one to buy the movie tickets,” Kise explained. “If the employees don’t ask for an ID, then it won’t technically be our fault if we get in trouble. It would be theirs, because they’re so neglectful about checking IDs. ”

“… Fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> I think I regret writing this for some reason...


End file.
